Whenever we fall in love with a person, there could be some logic or reasoning behind it. Sometimes, we get attracted to the physical personality of a person and wish to date them. Then, there are times when we like a person’s behavior or nature and hope to be in a relationship with them. There have been instances when an individual found a person to be perfect for them but decided not to take things ahead because of one factor – age. We like a person but then when we realize they are ‘much older’ or ‘too young’ for us, we believe it would not be a good idea for the both of us to be in a relationship. But, does age difference really matter in relationships?
In the modern world, large differences in the age of partners are not unusual. In the Western world, the age difference of 15 years does not impress anyone, and the divorce rate for such couples is no different than for those who marry of the same age. In culturally conservative countries, the situation may differ.
The society we live in tends to be very judgmental but don’t let that affect you. If you are truly in love with a person, don’t let the age difference between the two of you dissuade you from asking them out or being in a relationship with them. A couple of years back, I was in a relationship with a woman who was a couple of years elder than me and it was one of the best relationships I was ever in.
What is an acceptable age difference between couples?
To be honest, there is no fixed number. There is an interesting theory about the acceptable age difference between couples which is quite popular. The theory says you should never be in a relationship with someone whose age is less than half your own plus seven years. If you ask around, different people will put a different number on the acceptable age difference between couples. If you are okay with the age gap between you and the person you are in love with, it’s fine. You don’t have to seek validation from anybody regarding this.
How much of an age gap is OK?
Some will say an age gap of 10 years is fine and a few will vouch for the fact that even a 15-year age difference is fine. According to the widely popular ‘rule of seven’, the age of the younger partner must not be less than seven years plus half the older partner’s age. For example, if you are 24 years old, then half your age (12) plus 7 is 19. So as per this rule, it’s OK to marry someone who is 19 years or older but not someone who is 18 years old.
You have two options here. One, you adhere to these societal notions about how much of an age gap between partners is okay. Or, follow your heart and be with the person who truly makes you happy without thinking about the age gap between them and you.
Can age difference ruin a relationship?
Yes, age difference can ruin a relationship if you or your partner let it become a problem. The age difference between partners doesn’t matter as long as both of them are on the same page and have a similar opinion on most things. A lot of people believe that when there is a huge difference between two people, they won’t be able to get along well because of the difference in maturity level. However, a 21-year-old can be as mature as a 30-year-old and a 32-year-old could have a lesser maturity level than a 20-year-old. If you never overtly think about the age difference between the two of you, it will never be able to affect your relationship.
Can a 10-year age difference work in a relationship?
Yes, why not? In my neighborhood, there lived an elderly couple who were madly in love with each other. A couple of years back, the husband passed away at the age of 82. The wife was 71 then. Till the day he was alive, I saw the two of them being passionately in love with each other. The relationship shared by them served as a testimony to the fact that age doesn’t matter in a relationship. Even with a 10-year age difference, a relationship can work just fine.
Why would a woman want an older man?
I have often come across women who have been in a relationship or are married to men who are much older than them. There are several reasons why a lot of women get attracted to older men.
Maturity Level
Girls or women are usually more mature than boys or men of their age. Therefore, when they wish to be with somebody who is as mature or more mature than they are, they look for older men. A man who is older than you by a couple of years would have seen a lot of things that you are yet to experience. He would, therefore, be able to walk you through several seemingly difficult situations in life smoothly.
Career Stability
If you are dating a person who is of the same age as you, it will take him almost the same amount of time (if not more) to reach a certain level in their career as it would take you. When you date an older man, he would most likely be in a very stable position in his career. Most girls look for security and stability after marriage and therefore dating an older man is a more suitable option for them.
Why would a man want an older woman?
Younger men dating older women is perhaps not as common as women dating men who are much older than them. However, with times, the mindset of most people has changed and now there are a lot of people who think that there is nothing wrong or unacceptable about a young man dating an older woman. Here are a couple of reasons why a lot of men want to date older women.
Confident and mature
If you get attracted to a woman based on her overall personality, then you are most likely to fall in love with a woman who is older than you. As they are more mature than girls of your age, they make for great conversationalists. You would be able to share any of your problems with them without any hesitance. Their confident personality will inspire you to do better in life.
Learning Experience
Dating an older woman proves to be a more enriching learning experience than being in a relationship with a woman who is of the same age as you. A woman who is older than you has seen more life than you and is more experienced when it comes to a lot of things. Her experience helps you grow as a person continuously.
Why would a woman want to date a younger man?
Women dating younger men is a phenomenon that is becoming increasingly common in today’s day and age. While younger men could be a little immature, there is a sense of freedom and unbridled energy in them which comes with youth. This is what attracts a lot of women and makes them want to be with younger men. They also prove to be far more exciting and adventurous than older men.
Are age gaps in relationships healthy?
It has been found out that once couples work out some of the probable issues owing to the age gap, they will be happier with each other than couples who are of the same age. When you realize the few issues that are there in your relationship because of the age gap and not because of lack of affection, you will be able to fix them easily and move towards blissful co-existence. If you feel you are not as mature as your partner and that results in a difference of opinion at times, you could make it a point to be a more patient listener and take some time to process the things your partner says.
Related Questions
Is a 10-year age gap OK?
It’s perfectly fine as long as you are not dating a minor. If you are 34 and your partner is 44, it’s not a problem. If you are 40 and the person you are in a relationship with is 50, then it’s fine too. However, if you are 26 and the individual you are dating is 16, then it’s not right. My aunt is married to a man who is 11 years older than her and they have been happily married for more than 25 years now. If you are an adult, then you must know that dating a minor is an offense and is something that you shouldn’t be doing. But, if two adults have a 10-year age gap and want to be in a relationship, then there is no issue with that.
Do relationships with age gaps last?
One cannot answer this question with a simple yes or a no. I have come across many couples with a big age gap between them who have been happily married for years. Then, I have seen relationships that didn’t work out because of the age difference between the partners. Whether a relationship with a huge age gap will last or not depends on the way the couple deals with their internal issues. If you can work out the age gap issues and focus on the good things in the relationship, you will have a bright future together.
How do you overcome the age gap in a relationship?
There are different ways in which you can equalize or overcome the age gap in a relationship. There must be a good number of reasons which brought the two of you closer in the first place. You must spend more time doing things or activities that are of equal interest to both of you. Talk about topics which both of you are well-versed in and the ones that can lead to longer conversations. Socializing with each other’s friends will also help a lot in this regard.
What is the best age difference for husband and wife?
There is no ideal or best age difference for husband and wife. According to many, a husband and a wife should have a gap of 5-7 years between them. Some people believe that the age gap should be shorter or longer. If you are really in love with a person and find them to be the perfect match for you, then whatever be the age difference between you and him, it doesn’t and shouldn’t matter.
How long does it take for couples to get over the age difference in their relationship?
The time taken by a couple to get over the age difference in their relationship depends on their maturity level and their willingness to adapt to the nature or personality of their partner. The most important thing is to be accommodating and accepting the fact that there are certain differences between the two of you because of the age gap. Once you do that, you will be able to resolve most of these differences in due course of time.
Is a relationship with a big age gap suffer from uncertainty?
Every relationship, whether there is an age gap between partners or not, suffers from uncertainty. Remember, the age gap is just one of the defining factors in your relationship. Several other factors contribute towards determining whether a relationship will last in the long run or not. Many relationships between similar-aged couples don’t last because of compatibility issues, insecurities, lack of communication and several other problems.
Does age difference result in communication issues between partners?
They could. If one of the partners (could be the younger one) is not mature enough owing to their age, then they could have issues in communicating with the older partner. The relationship could suffer because of this. However, I know of so many couples who have a huge age gap between them but never had any communication issues. You must know that a person’s maturity level is not necessarily reflected by their age.
Header photo © Gabby Orcutt / Unsplash
