For the longest time, it was socially acceptable for a man and a woman to live together only after they were married. If an unmarried couple was seen to be living together, society considered it immoral. Today, things are quite different as a lot of people opt for a live-in relationship or the kind of arrangement where they live together before getting married. It must be noted here that conservative societies are still averse to the idea of a couple living together before getting married. So, should you live together before marriage?
It totally comes down to the couple’s personal choice whether you will live together before marriage. If both individuals are open to this idea, then it doesn’t matter whether society approves or disapproves of it.
When two people are in a relationship and love each other, they want to spend as much time as they can with each other. Back in the day, even if a couple would consider the idea of living together, they would drop it as it would mean going against societal norms. Now that this particular idea has been normalized to a great extent, a lot of couples move in together even before they decide a date for their marriage. I have had many friends who lived with each other for a while before getting married and they have been happily married for years now.
Should you live together before marriage?
There is no rule which says that you should or shouldn’t live together before marriage. It is a matter of personal choice and you, after consultation with your partner, must decide whether both of you want to live together before marriage or not. Living in a house with your partner is very different from spending a couple of hours with them. If you feel you don’t know your partner well enough to commit marriage to them, living together in a house would be a good idea to get a better understanding of them and their lifestyle. (Recommended article: “How Long Should You Date Before Proposing?“)
Why living together before marriage is a good idea?
Living together before marriage is a good idea as it helps both of you get to know each other much better. I know of many couples who will vouch for this fact. Spending a lot of time with each other, going to movies together and weekend getaways are fine but nothing will help you understand each other better than living together. It also gives you a fair idea of the fact whether both of you are compatible enough to share a home and stay together for a lifetime. Your relationship might have worked very well so far but living together will help you understand whether getting married would be a good idea.
Why is it important to live together before marriage?
It is important to live together before marriage, so that you can determine how strong your relationship is. It also helps you find out whether the two of you have the kind of compatibility level that married couples need to have. A lot of couples stay happy as long as they don’t share their lives or live in the same house. Some continue to be happy even after they do so. Living together before marriage will help you find how strong both of you as a couple are and whether you are ready to live together after getting married.
Does living together ruin relationships?
Yes, they might, but as long as it helps you see the truth, it’s not a bad thing. It is often said that living together can make or break a relationship. What this means is that when you start living with your partner, you get to know about their everyday routine, habits and a lot of other things which you had remained oblivious to so far. The more you get to know a person, the more you realize whether they are the kind of person you want to spend your life with or not. Getting this realization is a good thing as marriage is a big commitment and you need to be sure whether the person you have been in a relationship with could be a good life partner to you as well. (Recommended article: “Does Age Difference Really Matter in Relationships?“)
Do marriages last longer if you live together first?
Most couples who have lived together before getting married will vouch for this. The reason behind it is quite simple. When you live together with your partner for a good amount of time, you get to know about several aspects of their personality which you otherwise wouldn’t have discovered. A friend of mine who has been married for five years credits the success of his marriage to the fact that he lived with his partner for eight months before marrying. A live-in relationship, no matter how long it is, trains you for the kind of life you should expect after you get married and start living with your partner for good.
Is it better to live together before marriage or to wait?
Whether a couple wants to live together before marriage or wait until they get married is something they have to decide themselves. There are pros and cons associated with both decisions. Living together before getting married helps a couple get to know each other more closely and decide whether they would be compatible as a married couple or not. At the same time, it kills all that excitement that comes in when you move in with your partner after getting married. It would not be fair to say that one is better than the other. You, along with your partner, must weigh the pros and cons and make a decision.
Is living together a sin?
No, it’s not. It used to be several decades back when society adhered to a certain code of conduct. As time passed by, the value system which our society is based on has evolved and a man and a woman living together before getting married in today’s globalized world is not considered to be a sin. A friend of mine wanted to live with his partner before getting married but the fear of being judged by society barred him from doing so. There is a certain section of society that still calls it an immoral activity, but in most countries, you wouldn’t have to face any legal consequence if you chose to live with your partner before getting married.
Related Questions
Why living together before marriage is a bad idea?
Living together before marriage is a bad idea for several reasons. Since you have lived with your partner for a certain period already, you don’t feel excited after you get married and start living with them. The spark of a newly married life gets extinguished very quickly. There are certain things one must experience after marriage and not before it. For instance, there could have been certain habits or traits of your partner that could have surprised you but they won’t surprise you anymore as you have already discovered those while living with them before marriage. Living together after getting married ensures longevity for the relationship.
Do couples who live together before marriage have a higher divorce rate?
No, if you check data and statistics, you will realize it is far from being the truth. This kind of notion was prevalent in medieval times when live-in relationships were not an order of the day and were even considered to be immoral by many. Back then, if a couple lived-in together before getting married and ended up seeking divorce soon after that, word got around that the fact they lived-in together resulted in them parting ways shortly after getting married. This was the belief people in conservative societies had. With time, live-in relationships became more and more common and it was understood that a couple getting divorced had nothing to do with the fact whether they lived or didn’t live together before marriage.
Is it a sin to cuddle before marriage?
Absolute not! If it involves two adults and is consensual, then there is nothing wrong with it. These days, a lot of modern couples don’t shy away from getting intimate with each other before getting married. The level of intimacy depends on the comfort two individuals, who are in a relationship, share. Gone are those days when cuddling before marriage was considered to be a sin. Even today, some people find the idea of getting intimate before tying the knot to be immoral but you shouldn’t get bothered by the opinion of such people. (Recommended article: “Can a Divorced Catholic Get Married in the Church?“)
What are the disadvantages of living together before marriage?
There are a couple of disadvantages associated with living together before marriage. Marriage comes with a certain responsibility. When you are living together with your partner before marriage, there are lesser restrictions and clarity when it comes to a lot of things and that could create some issues in the long run. If you don’t like the way your partner is inside the house, it could result in you making a hasty and uninformed decision about not getting married to them. So many of my friends are averse to the idea of living together before marriage and they have solid reasons and logic to back their decision.
Is cohabitation good for relationships?
Cohabitation is good for relationships as it allows couples to get a good idea about how their marriage will pan out in the future. The difference between a couple who are in a relationship and a married couple is that you don’t, traditionally, live together before getting married. Once a couple gets married, the dynamics of their relationship change as they are now living together in the same house. If you cohabitate before marriage, you will be able to understand each other better, make the necessary adjustments and iron out the differences in your personalities. All this will pave the way for a healthy married life.
Header photo © Charly Pn / Unsplash
